Rules for kicking ass
>
> Make sure you read #12
>
> Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our great
> nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.
>
> For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a
> few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
>
> 1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during
> the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
>
> 2.. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
> protest - kick their ass..
>
> 3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
> amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
> quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
> very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many
> sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them
> down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass..
>
> 4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were..
> Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others
> that you used to be 'Special Forces'. Collecting GI Joe memorabilia
> might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only
> make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
>
> 5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, 'Do
> you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
> deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
>
> 6. If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* 'non-military',
> inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass..
>
> 7. Next time Old Glory (the  US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
> your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
> heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
> carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a
> severe ass-kicking.
>
> 8. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying
> it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick
> your ass!
>
> 9. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's
> go kill those Commies !' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls
> are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you see
> anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can
> go kick their ass!
>
> 10. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines*), 'Grunt' (*Army*),
> 'Squid' (*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of
> endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member
> or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get
> your ass kicked.
>
> 11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
> military, support our troops and their families.. Every Thanksgiving and
> religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
> remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
> marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their
> families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every
> day. Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked.
>
>
> 'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the
> press.'
>
> 'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
> speech.'
>
> 'It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom
> to demonstrate.'
>
> 'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves  beneath the flag,
> and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn
> the flag.'
>
> AND ONE MORE:
>
> 12. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national
> anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS!
>

     It is a great feeling to find what you have been searching for. I have been approached by many individuals and groups to try and advocate various types of PTSD therapies. Some I tried and others I wasn't interested in. I have seen so many that I can't recall all the different methods. The VA is stuck in the old talk therapy and meds routine. YAWN... I have all but given up on the VA as many of my affiliates have. I recently called the VA to ask about a temporary prescription of an anti-depressant to help me out of a period of post-holiday blues. They said it would be three weeks before I could get in to be seen. Since then I have cleared the blues and continued on the road of personal recovery. I have come to the conclusion that there needs to be a three pronged approach to PTSD treatment. I believe that this is an issue that affects the mind, body and spirit. Of course we are all familiar with the problems of the mind, and for those suffering with PTSD you are most certainly aware of the effects on the body. We should not ignore the implications on the spiritual side of this issue.

     I have always proclaimed my faith, but I was hesitant to speak too much about it in the realm of OperationPTSD.com. I did not want to be seen as a religious monger trying to fix PTSD with the Gospel. Its is impossible to deny the impact that faith has on our lives. As the cliché says, "There are no atheists in a foxhole." Cliche's are called that for a reason, small pieces of wisdom that have been recognized over the years as ideas to be heeded. Faith gives us a foundation to stand on as a basis for our own personal identity. I think it is very important to have a starting point for the journey through the healing process. As a child of the most high God, I have my identity established and a promise that I will not be left alone to fight the battles here on earth. I also believe that God uses other people in our lives to help us along the way. He gives each of us a set of skills that we are to develop and use to benefit ourselves and others. He also instructs us to maintain fellowship with other believers so that we may draw strength from them and be in a position to receive the gifts they have been given. That being said, my point is that we must approach the healing process with all the tools and not leave any aspect uncovered as to avoid the pitfalls associated with traditional therapy methods. I am not suggesting that everyone adopt my personal beliefs but find your own place that God has made for you. From there anything is possible.

     As for the body, you cannot expect that you can function properly while neglecting your physical condition. PTSD sufferers have a unique set of challenges that they face on a daily basis. Physically the sleep deprivation, anxiety and stress can make you feel like you are an island unto yourself. Compounding the difficulty of having enough energy to face a difficult journey of personal healing and growth. Eating a balanced and healthy diet, exercise, and avoiding harmful habits is absolutely essential to be in good condition. Failing to do so is putting yourself at a disadvantage from the very beginning. Getting back your life is a decision that must be made with the intention of being committed to a change of lifestyle. I think that is what most PTSD sufferers are looking for, because the typical day in the life of a PTSD sufferer is no walk in the park. We as humans typically don't relish the idea of change. However if you find yourself in the midst of a fire, wouldn't a cool change of scenery be an invitation to expend whatever amount of energy needed to get that done? I am speaking from experience, and I feel it is very important to be upfront and honest about my struggles to set an example for others to learn from.

     I have realized that my reputation is much less important than the benefits I can bring to others. I am very fortunate to have the power of a praying wife at my side, giving me a dose of daily motivation. My success is your success. If you read my last blog entry you are aware that I have had some rough patches in this mission to find a viable treatment for the illness that has consumed my life from the day I was born. As many of you know my father was a Vietnam Vet and drank himself and the rest of my family into oblivion. That is a typical story of someone with PTSD that either fails to be recognized or chooses to remain undiagnosed and untreated.

     I am working closely with a few select organizations and people to get a comprehensive program developed for mind, body and spirit. One of the most exciting aspects of this work is the new relationship that has developed with Great Life Technologies in Southern California. They have created a PTSD program that has my full attention. Their program is a non-invasive, non medicated and in home program that is supervised by a trained coach to optimize results. Consults are done by phone.

     Results of the initial data and ongoing treatment data are being compiled and monitored by the University of Texas at Austin. This program teaches each person how to address each symptom of PTSD and brings resolution in an incredibly short period of time. This is the exciting part, it puts the healing process in the hands of sufferer. No longer dependent on a therapist or a system of therapists that are not flexible in scheduling. It allows the individual to deal with any issues as they occur. That is very empowering and encouraging for someone that sufferers daily. I have had very noticeable improvements in my battle with anxiety, anger and clarity. My wife is also going through the program and has commented on how wonderful it is to be able to clear anger issues as they occur. This gives her the ability to help me and not be caught in the circle of empathy loss.

     I had the privilege to participate in a teleconference with Great Life Technologies and NotAlone.com a few weeks ago. During the conference I was able to hear from several Vets that are going through the program. Interestingly, there was a Vet from each of the wars since Vietnam represented. The overall message was that this program was a profound success. Not one of the Vets I heard from had a downside to speak of. Each of their stories were different as each of us are. This program was developed to help trauma victims resolve internal conflicts and has proved to be exceptionally beneficial to PTSD sufferers. The director Tom Stone has written books on these techniques that will be available on OperationPTSD.com in the very near future. They also put on seminars regularly that can be attended. My goal is to go to a certification seminar and become a PTSD and life coach. There are not many aspects of suffering associated with PTSD that I don't understand. I have been both the sufferer and the loved one of a sufferer. I have spent my life wondering why I had gone through all the things that I have, now I know. It is my mission to help other people that are going through their darkest hours. We didn't get in the position we are in overnight and getting resolution will not be an overnight endeavor. However, healing can be measured in months rather than years as one of the Vets told me after he had been in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for over 15 years with limited results.

     I need to raise $2000.00 dollars to attend this certification in California. I would like to offer any donor free sessions in exchange and in gratitude for helping me help others. If you would like to donate but don't know anyone suffering I have a list of people that would be grateful for the therapy and would make the introduction between the two of you so that you could see who and how you helped a specific person improve their life. All donations can be made on the PayPal donation button on the home page of this website. Thank you for your support and I look forward to bringing together a comprehensive program of healing for mind, body and spirit.

All the Best,

Jason Ream

OperationPTSD.com

When I started this organization I intended on helping people. The kind of people that really deserved it. The kind of people that lay down their lives to protect those that don't have the ability to do it themselves. There is honor in that, there is no honor in the way that the Veterans are treated at the end of the mission. Not that we are asking for anything other than being treated with the respect that is due and medical care for the wounds received while completing the mission. I will not give up seeking a cure for PTSD, but for now I will have to pursue a job in another field. Helping Veterans should be the type of endeavor that others would support. I have found that it is not really a priority in the lives of the people that have benefited the most. Those people are citizens of this country that have done NOTHING to earn the freedoms they have. No sacrifice, no danger, no loss of time with family and friends. Yet they are content to nurse on the tit of the sacrifices of others. I wish there was a way I could expose these people to the horrors that our troops have faced in the defense of this country. What might the satisfaction feel like to see them suffer years of torment that our PTSD Vets do. Then ask them if they would like someone to help them with their problem, only to reply that nobody cares and watch them put their hands to their faces and cry in despair. This is basically what I have experienced over the past few months. I have even experienced hollow promises from groups that are posing as advocates and are taking donations in the name of helping Veterans. I have learned so much from the past several months of work. I learned about me and about the reaction to trauma in the human mind. I have learned about the sad condition of our country and the lack of true patriots that exist here. I have learned that the way business is done here is to make all kinds of promises and deliver nothing, then run off into the sunset with whatever profits you can. No wonder OperationPTSD.com is not doing better, I didn't play by those rules. The weak minded have decided to follow the cliche "If you can't beat em, join em!" I have very little respect for the upper chain of command in our military. They lie, cheat and steal just like the politicians. It is the troops on the ground that make the decisions to complete the agenda we need them to do. It is exactly those troops that get shafted when they return home after doing a job that most would be incapable doing. As a society we concern ourselves with what tramp Tiger Woods is having an affair with or what worthless group of athletes are playing children's games. If reading any of this is upsetting you, there are basically two reasons. Either you are among those I am describing or you are as tired of it as I am. If you among the first group then log off my site and don't return. If you are as sick and tired as I am of the way our country treats our Veterans, then do something or find yourselves lumped in with the first group. This country was based upon Christian principles and is as far from them as ever. God is the answer to the question, regardless of the question. I am confident that I could survive in a war zone, how confident are you that you could? Maybe we should do away with our military all together and allow those who can't defend themselves to perish. Then we may find ourselves with only patriots in this country and those who choose to supports us. I would personally be willing to sacrifice those who wouldn't help defend us. Good riddance I say. If you are a member of OperationPTSD.com and you aren't disturbed by the lack of support then I personally ask you to cancel your membership. If you are following me on Twitter and you disagree please unfollow me. I don't want to have anymore dealings with those who are soft and riding the fence on helping our Veterans. You are with me or you are against me, no middle of the road. Make no mistakes if I detect that you aren't with me then I will most certainly not restrain my contempt for you in whatever forum we find ourselves in. The gloves are off, if I find myself standing alone then at least I know who I can count on. If you are one of those groups that pledged support and failed to deliver, beware I am preparing to expose you as well. I will not name anyone now, but I think you know who you are. Deliver, get out of the game or face being called out. There are no other options. I am growing tired of the PTSD treatment debate, if we have had the treatment for more than a year or two then forget it. It is not working. NLP, EFT, CBT, EMDR, video games, smoking pot, drinking alcohol, re-exposure, talk therapy, antidepressants, blaming everything and everyone, waiting for someone else to do something, and pretending it doesn't exist is not getting the job done. DUH and DEE, DEE, DEE! New and cutting edge treatments are being explored, lets get rid of what doesn't work. It is wasting time and resources that we don't have. In the meantime look for me doing something other than supporting our troops. Thanks to the lack of support of OperationPTSD.com. Until I blog again, God Bless and remember who gave you your freedom.

Jason

OperationPTSD.com

     It has been a very eventful past few weeks. I find it interesting to watch the ebb and flow of PTSD in the media and public opinion. Just days before Veterans Day and the official launch of OperationPTSD.com an evil act of domestic terrorism struck home at Fort Hood. That event triggered an interest in PTSD and our military, although I believe it was thrown off course by the fact that speculation raged over the shooter and various unheard of forms of PTSD. I am speaking of Pre-PTSD and Secondary PTSD, neither of which were terms I had heard of in all the years I have dealt with this subject. These were made up by media and uneducated military spokesmen. Now we are calling PTSD "Combat Stress" because the military didn't want to use the term Disorder. Anything and everything they could think of to redirect the focus of fault from themselves. I am not saying the military is to blame for PTSD, it is a result of trauma. Trauma will occur in combat and there is very little that can be done to prevent that from happening. Even the soldiers that operate the unmanned aircraft from remote bases are suffering a high rate of PTSD. My point is the military and government has ignored the problem of psychological distress on soldiers since the beginning. The terms used have evolved from soldiers heart to shell shock to battle fatigue to PTSD and now combat stress.

     The problem is, using the term "combat stress" will require that a soldier be directly involved in combat to meet the inferred definition of that term. Setting us up for another omission of a large group of people eligible for benefits. Lets stick to PTSD, call it what it is. There is no reason to change the term used and by doing so imply a new and unknown definition further complicating the situation. There are thousands of troops that were involved in support of combat operations and never actually fired a weapon that have full blown cases of PTSD. Are they any less entitled to benefits? The answer is obviously NO, however that will not be the case if the military and government are allowed to set policy on the fly. I personally have experienced the "SYSTEM" at work. I filed an application for disability with the VA going on two years ago, and was denied on my initial claim because I didn't have a Combat Action Medal listed in my service record. As a matter of fact I have noticed that my service record is missing several awards that should have been entered but weren't. Getting those added to my record is not an easy process, and just further complicates getting a final rating for PTSD disability.

      On the other side of this equation we have very positive news to relay. In my early days of Twitter I made a few contacts of interest, one in particular is a young lady that works with Soldiers Angels. She is a member of OperationPTSD.com and suffers from non-combat related PTSD. An Author of a book came to her and said he had written a book and would like for a portion of the proceeds to go to organizations helping the troops. She graciously mentioned OperationPTSD.com to him and put us together to discuss the possibility of this venture. I spoke with him yesterday for about an hour while he was traveling to a reading and book signing. He is a former United States Marine that served in Iraq back in 2003 in support of OIF. He kept a detailed journal of his time in Iraq. He endured many struggles and came to a point in his life that he realized PTSD was a reality for him. He decided to write a memoir based upon his journal and it has been nominated for a 2010 non-fiction Pulitzer Prize. This gentleman's name is Eric Cox and his book is titled "CPL Cox." We have come to an agreement that allows OperationPTSD.com to offer the book as a free benefit of a donation to the organization. For each $25.00 dollar donation a free signed copy of "CPL Cox" will be sent to the person or organization making the donation. This is some of the best news OperationPTSD.com has had since the beginning. My hats off to Eric for creating such unique way of supporting those who support our hero's. A little hint, this will not be the last book he will offer. You will have to get the book to know what I mean.

     OperationPTSD.com is evolving. My initial intent was to offer all kinds of services to PTSD Veterans and families. While that is still my long term goal, our short term mission has got to be awareness and education. I was not completely aware of the level of education or actually the lack of education that I witnessed as the Fort Hood tragedy unfolded. I saw everything from misquotes to blatant lies during the days following the incident. If people have the wrong ideas or wrong impression about a subject, then it is hard to get the kind of help needed based on misinformation.

     There are countless clinical seminars and gatherings ongoing all the time. These are geared toward mental health professionals and are not the kind of sessions that bring out the survivors experience in a way we all can appreciate. I am working behind the scenes to create a coalition of advocates to sponsor a survivors conference on PTSD. Where plain English is spoken in place of technical jargon. I want to see all sorts of PTSD survivors there and mental heath professionals as well, so that we as survivors can cut through the BULL surrounding the PTSD community. I would like to challenge all healing practitioners to bring hard numbers to this gathering so transparency can be achieved. There is way too much he said, she said propaganda going on right now. Each group of people claim the best results, while no one is really pulling ahead in the race for a cure. I am not here to be politically motivated, I am not here to be politically correct. I am here to find the answers for our PTSD affected Veterans and civilians alike. I don't mean to be confrontational or argumentative, but I will be if I think the truth can be exposed by doing so. I am for truth and transparency in the care of our Veterans. I advocate, I educate and I defeat stigma. That will be my mission until I have acquired the necessary resources to increase my presence in the PTSD care community. Bottom line, do what you are good at and let others have to freedom to do the same. It will take a massive cooperation to achieve the results we expect and deserve. Be prepared to operate outside of your comfort zone because ground breaking is not for the faint of heart.

Jason

OperationPTSD.com

     As a man I am saddened, as a Veteran I am enraged. As an advocate I am torn, as an educator I am frustrated. The recent events at Fort Hood, and the anniversary of my mothers death have effected me in a way that I had not anticipated. With Veterans Day and the launch of OperationPTSD.com November 11^th I was busy scrambling to get everything in order. I knew the pressure was building and I could sense subtle changes in my attitude. As I learn more about how PTSD effects me personally, I have begun to remember facts and details about my own experiences. These are not pleasant and I will not post the specifics of these facts because I do not want to unintentionally trigger a PTSD response in someone else. I did not realize that it was possible for me to completely forget details of events that were so intensely a part of my life experience. Now I am not sure I want to recall that information and I am caught in the crossfire, between the desire to understand and the fear of that understanding.

     The reality of death began for me when I discovered my Mom dead in her car after her suicide. I spent several minutes with her alone before the emergency personnel showed up. I can recall just a few images from those moments although I have tried to remember as much as possible. I never really mourned her death, and I still don't know how to go about it. I can tell the story of that day without emotion for the most part and have done it so many times I couldn't begin to count. That day was a turning point for me, the day the finality of death became an intimate piece of knowledge to my young mind. Except for the few people that approached me to express their condolences I was able to almost completely block the reality of the event from my conscious mind. Soon afterward I began to fear the loss of my father. I would jerk awake in a pool of sweat, thinking I heard his car running in the garage. That would send me running downstairs to the garage to check and see if his car was actually running. I would not be satisfied until I put my hand on the exhaust pipe to feel if it was hot. I was afraid to talk to him about it, I was developing my own stigma. I didn't want him to see my fear because that seemed weak in the context of our relationship.

     When I arrived at boot camp, I was anticipating the Navy being a serious undertaking. Almost immediately, the importance of attention to detail was re-enforced with the statement "When mistakes are made people will die." I didn't really connect the thought of an accidental death or even an act of military aggression to my Mom's suicide. I just knew that I was not going to be the one that allowed my actions or lack of actions to be what caused the death of another member of my unit. My subconscious was much more aware of the connection. Initially when I was involved in a situation that had lethal consequences I would get a rush of adrenalin and feel a somewhat pleasant high, with a strange underlying dread. Eventually that dread faded and I functioned as if I were a nonliving being. Each day the same, each situation similar, just reacting in a rehearsed fashion with confidence in my training and problem solving ability. I took pride in my ability to remain cold and calculating in my approach to a chaotic situation.

     The events that unfolded at Ft. Hood initially sparked a feeling of calm calculation and a controlled intellectual response. As I sat and watched the news I began to shake internally. Nausea and a noticeable tension in my abdomen began to get my attention. I could feel my heart beating heavily and I could hear the rush of blood in my head. I was frustrated by the slow development of the story and the constant changing information related to the tactical scenario. I was trying to imagine the scene and began to panic because I could not develop a good solution in my head for the situation. That takes me back to my education and the definition of PTSD. The feeling of hopelessness and loss of control of a situation that involves death or the threat of severe harm to ones self or those around you. Classic textbook PTSD occurring with me at a point where I thought I had a good grip on it. Disturbing!

     My greatest fear is that I would fall apart and lose my wife, I try to explain my feelings but its like describing the color blue to a blind man. I consider my wife to be of high intelligence and also having a huge sense of compassion. However, mental illness is a beast that doesn't reveal itself clearly. Its like an insurgent war fought inside my head. What appears to be a normal event to everyone could be a trigger for me. The unknown is hell in my eyes, I can't plan to fight an enemy that I have no solid Intel on. So I focus all of my aggression on the nearest object or situation that presents itself as an adversary. To my wife it makes sense when my aggression falls in line with her perception of a situation and it appears that aggression is appropriate. Otherwise we fight over that gap in perception. I had an idea the other night to try and picture what PTSD would look like through my wife's eyes. I was laying there in the bed just looking at her while she was reading a book. I was trying to think about how she would respond to the emotional cocktail that I feel on a regular basis. I began to get sick, panic attack was eminent. I realized my instinct to defend her would not allow me to mix the thought of her with the hell that is PTSD. I would attack and destroy anything that would cause my wife to feel like that, yet I don't have the ability to defend myself from it. Amazing!

     This week has been a rough one, PTSD has been twisted in the media. I have heard new terms for PTSD and definitions that only vaguely resemble what I have learned through all my research. The incident at Ft. Hood was actually very damaging to the work I do. People jumping to conclusions and a new stigma in the form of what basically amounts to an act of domestic terrorism. I have been degraded in a forum in which I had previously been praised. To the point of not wanting to even use Twitter as a means of advancing the cause of PTSD Veterans. I have even contemplated quitting this entire mission. I am due to launch this organization in less than two days as I face the worst scenario yet since the idea of OperationPTSD occurred to me. Quitting would be easy! What bothers me most is the idea of leaving a Veteran hanging without a safety line. With all this going on, I begin to call a cadence to myself. If the troops can sustain a war on two fronts with multiple deployments I can keep going too. I love my wife and I love this country, so I will continue the quest for PTSD Veterans and me.

Donate to OperationPTSD.com, the link is on the home page and is a safe PayPal connection. We need your help!

Jason

OperationPTSD

      This is not going to be one of those typical inspirational blog posts that leaves you feeling connected with a warrior who is longing for his life before he experienced the hell of combat. It is an entry of outrage at the state of our society and its priorities. This is for all the PTSD Veterans that live a self imposed exile because of the inability to be around normal places that most take for granted. Its for the PTSD Vet that sits in a room alone contemplating the end of his life because he realizes his situation is not getting better and options are getting few and far between. For the Vet that won't go to bed because of the fear of the nightmares he will certainly face if he does. For all the panic victims and the constant nagging anxiety that prevents life from being normal. For all the relationships that have slipped from the hands of someone that desperately needed a loved one. For those that just can't take it anymore. For us PTSD Vets!

      I am very concerned about the attitude our country has taken in regards to the military members that have sacrificed so much for the freedom we enjoy. Yes, we have made a mess of things. Yet we are free to fix it and go on. The camouflage line is getting thin, we are expending resources that do have an end. America is not brimming with the kind of courageous warriors that we had two generations ago. Sorry if that upsets you, but I do look around as I travel about the country. I know a warrior when I see one and there is damn few of them left. We have become a society of soft and lazy self serving people. Concerned only with the affairs that directly effect us. Only interested if it feels good or will promote the sense of enjoyment. There are people overseas planning to kill us, doesn't it seem prudent to have a very capable fighting force to protect us? I think so, and I happen to know we are sending people into harms way that are ill-equipped to handle the task because they have been compromised already. In addition, we are miserably failing to render aid to the wounded after the dust settles.

      I am really tired of hearing the hollow words "We support our troops." Only to have the pleas for help with PTSD go unanswered. To put it into perspective, imagine this if you will. A small and highly trained group of insurgents begin a reign of terror across this country. Don't think it could happen? Do you remember the DC sniper? Two people held an entire region hostage for days. Who do you think is going to stop a group of 500 terrorist in sleeper cells? It will be the same warriors that have always got it done, and if you skipped the military for partying in college you will not be part of that solution. I know you don't care about the daily struggles of a small fraction of the entire population. However, they cared enough about you to put themselves in a position to lose all their tomorrows for your comfort. PTSD is a terrible reality that is faced by the same warriors that faced our enemies in a land far from here. Is it the distance that makes you feel safe? Or makes you forget what they did? We never forget what we did for this country! We are angry at the treatment we are receiving. Some are in such poor shape they don't even realize it could be different. Some are in prison, and still more living under bridges and in abandoned houses. Some are addicted to drugs and alcohol, while others just give up and die.

     Sound like an angry rant? Not a rant, just reality. Don't like it? Do something about it! Do something for the men that are terrified to go outside in their yards. They remember it being different, that's the sad part. Its not like they lose all sense of reality, PTSD Vets know something is wrong and wish it could be different. They lose their spouses because of their inability to show or receive affection. They lose their jobs because they can't focus on a task. They lose themselves because they can't stand to see what has become of them. WE, because I am one of them, want to love, live and enjoy our families just like you do. Without help that is not what is going to happen in most cases. Please send everyone you know to read this site, education is key. And the stigma which amounts to ignorance in costing us lives everyday. I would like to be focused on healing and stories of success, but without support there is and will be no success.

Jason

OperationPTSD 

     I was taking a much needed break from the computer and what has become an endless journey in gathering support and resources for Veterans with PTSD.  As I stood in my front yard I began looking at a stone I had recently brought back from a hunting trip.  I know this sounds a bit odd but during my mission of healing I have gained a different perspective on a lot of things.  I was pondering the thought of how old this stone might be and how long it had been in the spot I found it.  I then began to think about the fact that this stone had probably been in the same spot since I was born.  Every breath I have ever taken that stone was there.  My journey from an infant to a man had occurred and this stone had remained unchanged and unmoved for all that time.  I started thinking about the events that caused my PTSD and how the stone had just layed in wait.  The two trends of thought merged in my mind.  The stone would still be in that spot had I not moved it, and PTSD would still be running my life had I not acted upon it to stop it.  I think I will visit that stone everyday for at least a moment to remind me of how my actions effect my healing.  I need it because although I am on my way I am not completely free of PTSD and the symptoms it creates.

     We all have a part to play in our lives, some choose to allow others to direct their paths.  Some choose to allow circumstances to decide what their reality is.  I have allowed both of these to occur at some time in my life.  Letting other people or circumstances choose your path is a very risky and potentially destructive course of action.  Be empowered to make your own decisions, then have the courage to face each day with the knowledge that your life is yours to live and protect.  Don't let destructive people or circumstances make your life something you aren't happy with.  Change is not always easy and it may even seem scary, but the fact you are reading this particular message tells me you are looking for an answer to a problem.  In any case I think I would choose the unknown over misery any day.  Be bold, be empowered and make a carefully thought out plan and execute it.  If you are suffering form PTSD that can be a very challenging process.  Thats why I have created this community and work hard every day to bring resources together to help each person make that plan and provide support in times of need.

     Times are changing, there is a movement of support and acceptance occurring right now.  Never has there been a better time to break the cycle of misery then right now.  Don't allow PTSD to lay in wait like a stone in your life, it won't move, look away, blink or forget.  You have to take action to make a change and there is no better time and place then right here and right now.  Is there a one size fits all cure?  No, not that I am aware of right now.  Does that discourage me?  No, it makes me want to dig a little deeper and continue the quest for answers.  I do know this, there are a tremendous amount of skilled and compassionate people working fevorishly to discover the best solution to our problem.  That being said, I still believe that making the decision to put a stop to victimhood is one of the best healing techniques I have found.  Self awareness is another technique I use, be aware of your reactions and maintain an inner dialog with yourself.  A dialog of self assurance and confidence.  Make apologies when you go too far with the anger.  Stop practicing avoidance of situations gradually and give your self the room to make mistakes.  The point is, stop doing the same thing and expecting different results.  Educate yourself and encourage those around you to get that education as well.  Set yourself up a team of supporters.  If you are alone, we are here and that is our purpose.  Welcome to OperationPTSD, we understand what the problem is.

Jason

OperationPTSD

Cadence

Written by Jason on October 12th, 2009

Recovery is not always a daily victory. I try to maintain a positive attitude to be a beacon of light for my fellow Veterans to follow. Today I was scheduled for a PTSD assessment for a VA rating. As excited as I am to be pushing forward in the battle against PTSD, this appointment totally wiped my energy reserves. My last post was about making a plan for each day and having the courage to follow it. Okay, my fellow PTSD Vets here I am following my plan. I decided today was the day I would make another blog entry. I am struggling to see through the fog and feel like I am swimming against a rip-tide. I always wanted to know that the people I followed actually had the guts to walk the path they asked me to walk. Step by step I will move forward.

     We all remember learning to march in formation. For me it was at Great Lakes Recruit Training Command in March of 1988. Tired as all hell and cold to the bone I just wanted to lay down and rest. That was not the plan. We were going to learn how to stay in step with the cadence if it killed us and our Company Commander. We were a bunch of civilian knot heads struggling to push our square minds through a round hole or porthole as the case was. I loved to hear that cadence called. It made me want to march. I still love to hear it and every time I do, I return to boot camp and that day in my mind. As we learned to march to the cadence and got good at it, we started adding a little flair to it. A stomp and drag, or maybe an "eyes right" as we passed the female cadets. Little by little that began to build a camaraderie between the men of company 911.

  On days like today I refer back to that cadence. I don't want to march forward. I want to lay on my ass and do nothing. I can't allow it, PTSD is ravaging my fellow Veterans. So I call an internal cadence and I march. How many of my brothers will die today? I can't stop them all, but I won't be sitting on my ass while it happens. The doctor I saw today was pointing out the fact that we find our identities based upon what we do. He said if he couldn't be a doctor then he would be lost. I can relate, when I got out of the Navy I was lost. If I couldn't be a squid, then what was I?

     I have tried to be so many things, some I was pretty good at and others not so good.
I was a corrections officer, I liked the physical conflicts. I hated the fact that these people never got to go home. I know they were convicts but that doesn't make them any less human. I was conflicted, they deserved a beating in some aspects and deserved to be treated like people at the same time. I quit!

     Then came retail sales, I am so glad I did this. I found that I can't stand dealing with the public, but since it was Western Auto I learned all about cars. I still do all of my own mechanic work. Yet again I quit! Had a few more automotive service and sales jobs and decided maybe retail wasn't my game.

     I started my own construction business. I guess at first it was more destruction than construction, but I learned quick. By the end of my run at this field I was doing tile and stone in multi-million dollar homes in south Tulsa. Good money, hard work and a drug habit to boot! And yep you guessed it, I quit!

     So I had the bright idea of going to truck driving school. People have a total misconception of truckers. It takes a special breed to drive a truck. I learned to drive, back and inspect everything concerning a truck. I was a safe and prompt truck driver. No accidents, no incidents, runs, errors, or drips. I hated it. I didn't like the isolation, I wanted to be in a team environment. Before I could quit this career I was injured on the job. On April 18, 2008 I was rolling a compressed argon cylinder and the bottom of the cylinder slipped on the concrete floor. I attempted to man up and hold on, and as a result I destroyed my right shoulder.
Game over!

  I have had two surgeries to correct the problem, but I am left with only a partially useful joint. I was so lost and confused about who I was and what I was supposed to do. Until one night I decided to get on Twitter. That was about a month ago, and I now realize what I am supposed to be doing. I am supposed to be calling cadence for my fellow PTSD Vets. I used to watch the foot steps of the guy in front of me, I would just get lost in the cadence and concentrate on his steps. Before I knew it, we were at our destination. I am asking you Veterans to fall into step and begin a march toward healing.

Before we know it we will all arrive at our destination.

Jason

OperationPTSD

In the Third Person.

Written by Jason on October 12th, 2009

     First of all I would like to say thank you, it has been a crazy and exciting journey from solo Twitterer and blogger to OperationPTSD.org then to OperationPTSD.com  I am astounded at the support everyone has shown and I am quite aware of the reason, our fantastic men and women in uniform!  My heart and mind have been an outreach waiting for a place to happen.  Now I have found it! 

     I have felt a longing to be amongst the troops since I left active duty.  I did for a short period of time go back to the military.  I enlisted in the United States Coast Guard in 1996.  Upon arrival to my first duty station I started having some debilitating panic attacks.  I was not ready to recognize what the root of the problem was.  Coincidentally, neither was the Coast Guard, they unceremoniously discharged me with an Honorable discharge under the pretense of fraudulent enlistment.  In 1984 I had been seen in a mental health clinic after the suicide of my mother, which I didn't think to bring up because I was 13 years old at the time and no diagnoses was ever given.  I had also served a full term in the U.S. Navy and had no issue with any mental health problems.  They did not see it that way, I was given a diagnosis of an unspecified mental disorder and promptly discharged.  It was humiliating, so much so that I have not publicly spoke of it since.  PTSD was not a talked about issue at that time. 

     When I was young I had dreams for my life and all kinds of interests in a wide variety of activities.  I saw the world as mine for the taking.  I just needed to pay my dues and grab the brass ring.  That was my perception of life at that time.  I like to think of that as my first person perspective.

     Life wouldn't appear that way for long, my moms death and then I ran away from home at 16.  I was just beginning the damaging portion of my life.  Soon enough I was in the U.S. Navy, and I rarely talk about that outside of my wife.  Bad things happened and I took on an angry and aggressive persona.  I started having memory issues and found concentrating quite difficult.  I slid further and further into depression and let my anger take a much deeper hold on me.  This is the second person perspective, the perspective that led me down some dark paths and destroyed a large portion of my adult life.  Nobody likes my second person, most of all not me.  The dreams once pondered in my youth were overshadowed by the devastation of undiagnosed PTSD.  I was left feeling defective and unworthy of the dreams I once had.

     Oh, but the story is far from over.  I am now getting to the good part.  I finally decided to quit crying and start trying.  I was still lost but I had turned the key to start a new progression in my life.  Something was having its way with me, and I was not willing to be a silent partner any longer.  Bring on the Third Person!  This is an imperfect person, but a stronger and more resilient person!  Not niave or ignorant, and not weak and victimized.  Take a position of strength, PTSD hates that.  It goes against its principle of defeat and demoralization.  I love to kick PTSD in the ass, more than it enjoyed tenderizing mine for all these years.  I just started playing by the rules PTSD established, take every opportunity to undermine the goals and aspirations of the host!

     I can't sign off without mentioning the U.S. Army Ranger we are attempting to help.  He is right where I was with the Coast Guard, under duress and struggling to maintain a sense of balance and footing.  People this is a talented and bright young man.  Not your average person but a hero that deserves better!  I am totally committed to pulling out all the stops for him.  We are learning and adapting as we go and I hope the final outcome is one powerful Third Person Ranger we can introduce to you as the Hero he truly is. 

     One last thing, take notice of the donation button, in honor of Veterans day make a donation to our cause and we will put it straight to use.  I would have liked to been able to fly out and be there to support this Ranger in person, but as of now the PayPal account is at $50.00.  We need your support!  I have always said that I have done so much with so little for so long that I can do almost anything with nothing.  It won't be that way for OperationPTSD we need resources!

OpPTSD_Jason

STIGMA!!!!

Written by Jason on October 13th, 2009

     After talking to a few OIF and OEF Veterans I have come to realize that there is a huge amount of pressure and harassment taking place among those who are still active concerning PTSD.  Not only from peers but also from the upper chain of command.  I can't begin to say how frustrating and depressing this is.  Somehow, some way this has got to stop.  I can only imagine what it must feel like to be suffering from PTSD and be in a combat situation and try to ignore the symptoms.  Being on active duty is a demanding and rigorous activity, sleep is never what it should be.  Then you combine that with nightmares and sleep deprivation, its a perfect cocktail for a person to snap.  Do we really want our troops to be literally sleeping with the enemy?  Its hard to imagine, but sometimes we hear about one of our own losing his mind and committing horific acts of violence on our own troops.  These guys are out there laying it all on the line for us and they are not really safe in the green zone. 

     Taking that a step further, we are openning ourselves up to a situation that would create a criminal out of a suffering combat Veteran.  I am quite sure there are very few military men or women that deploy with the idea of hurting fellow troops.  Although, if we continue to deploy troops that are already suffering from PTSD into a warzone, we as a nation open ourselves up to a Darwins grab bag of possiblities.  As of now the numbers being reported are shocking, up to 35% of our troops returning from the Sandbox and the Stan are suffering from PTSD.  With the stigma and pressure being applied I fear that those numbers are actually higher.  With the tour counts exceeding 3 or more, I am even more concerned we are returning damaged troops to the front lines.

     There are qualities that our fighting men and women possess that make them such an overwhelmingly powerful force.  The refusal to accept defeat or surrender make them such a fierce adversary.  If you could imagine fighting a supremely armed and trained opponent that simply refused to quit!  How would you deal with that?  That is the essence of our success.  Troops in combat don't fight for the flag or country, they fight for the man next to them.  Thats how it is, thats how it should be.  What if that soldier next to you was in some way compromised?  So afraid of admitting something was wrong that they would rather face dying than disgrace.  Thats not the kind of wingman I want watching my back, and no insult intended to that person.  Just really simple theory, I want the warrior to my right to be just as sharp as I am.  I have read stories coming back from the war about people who didn't even realize they were effected until a situation required them to act and they froze.  In combat hesitation causes loss of life. 

    Its not fair that we place people in harms way who are not in battle ready condition.  Its not fair to them and its not fair to those who trust in them for their own safety.  From our perspective as citizens of this country and family members of those troops we need to have the piece of mind that we are sending our fellow patriots and loved ones into the fight as best prepared and defended as we can.  The upper chain of command is results driven, not usually too concerned with individual soldiers.  They will preach otherwise, but I have seen how they act and numbers are their primary concern.

     I can hear it now, the terms sick, lame and lazy.  From the perspective of a 18 year old to a twenty something that is not the category you want to be in.  This group of individuals think they are bulletproof and are not in a position to be making the right call when it concerns operational safety.  We as a nation must start paying closer attention to military policy and taking an active role in ensuring those policies are in place and being enforced.  If you are a parent, spouse or friend of a soldier and you notice a change in behavior, it is your duty to address this with them and if they are not receptive to it then take it to a higher level.  There are contacts that can be made to address this type of an issue and I will do the research and have Mac post them to the site.  Doctors can only diagnose what they see, and if a soldier makes the conscious effort to avoid detection then what good can the existing policies do to protect our warriors from themselves and each other?

     Don't let the government have all the responsibilty for protecting the ones you love.  I love this country too, but as we all are quite aware our government doesn't always act in a manner that we would approve of.  Take some action, ask questions and don't stop until you are completely satisfied with the answer you get.  PTSD stigma can and will get soldiers killed.  At the very least it provides a hostile work environment for those who are trying to get our nations bidding done! 

     The word needs to get out beyond this Blog!  We are doing all we can to help those who will come forward, and find those who are lost. That in itself has turned into a full time job.  We need your help and as Americans that is how we do business!  I am fully supportive of the wars we are fighting, I hate it that American troops have to go and sacrifice their lives for what we believe in.  The fact is that they are and we do have to send them to get it done or as we well know the fight will come to us.  PTSD is not a condition that only effects someone else, as the fighting continues PTSD will be coming to your neighborhood.  Ask yourself this, do I want PTSD treated or should I wait until I face a trained military machine in a road rage incident.  It has already happened, and as a regular civilian the chances of getting out of a situation like that uninjured are remote.

Action or regret, which would you rather live with?  Help stop the STIGMA, voice your opinions and watch your troops closely and be ready to act if you detect a problem!

OpPTSD_Jason